The Apprentice – Toughest Interview Process?

Interviews in the corporate world can be tough; by the turn of 2010 I had been to my fair share of these after graduating. The applications that I made range into the hundreds, the interview processes probably range up to 8.

For those unfamiliar with the recruitment process as a graduate, let me enlighten you. The recruiters stipulate that they want a graduate with a certain qualification level, normally a 2.1 grade as a minimum. You apply; if successful you carry out a numerical test and a verbal reasoning test online. A telephone interview can be conducted at this point too. Then you go to a group interview. This is normally a room of 30 people who have achieved the minimum grade, passed the online tests, passed the telephone interview and now you’re all going to compete to demonstrate who the loudest person is for the next 4-6 hours. Yes I said it, the loudest person. When I went to the processes as someone who was spot on and brilliant in my theory and conversation, I didn’t get far. When I observed the people who were successful at this stage, I quickly learned and adapted to be obnoxious. Guess what? They loved it!

On passing this stage, you are invited to a one-on-one interview with ‘the big cheese’ and now you have to tell them why you are great for the role. I got to this stage on 3 occasions. I didn’t get any of those roles but the fob-off excuse I got in my feedback telephone calls each time without fail was ‘You’re fantastic, but the market has changed with the recession mate. A, B and C have sales/marketing/financial experience which you don’t’ and this leaves you thinking surely you need to sack someone in your recruitment department as I have gone through all these stages for you to only pick that up now!

 [the quest to find a role post-university]

I didn’t get a treat for passing each round and getting a step closer to the prize, the job.

I didn’t get Myleene Klass playing the piano for me at a champagne brunch, or a day at a health spa, or a dancing lesson from the stars of some dancing show on the BBC as a result of getting a step closer each time.

[Lord Alan Sugar - The Apprentice]

I have the greatest respect for Lord Alan Sugar, and I place him as my favourite and most respected businessman in the UK. His show, The Apprentice, is dubbed as the toughest interview process in the land. No! These guys are being chauffeured everywhere they need to go, are being put up in a town house for their troubles, I’m sure they’re being paid by the beeb for their troubles of being at this interview. Then as they pass each week (rounds, it’s all the same) they have a treat such as those mentioned before. Some may argue that the treat is an added incentive of winning and making it to the following week, if the job itself (or the six figure salary/investment) isn’t incentive enough then these people shouldn’t have made it to the show in the first place. Another argument, the treats make good TV. They only broadcast like a two minute montage of the bloody treat! Two minutes of an hour is not going to be missed. The apprentice candidates will have also gained exposure as they have demonstrated their skills on TV, even if they didn’t get the job with Lord Sugar they will have an easier time finding a role elsewhere. Mass exposure, higher chance of interview, you do the math. Graduates, when unsuccessful are left on the heap.  

The reasoning behind the heap is that since the recession hit, I have found many jobs to be asking for experienced fresh graduates. Most people I came across at recruitment fairs only had retail experience, yet these recruiters are asking for the very few graduates who somehow have become venture capitalist entrepreneurs whilst simultaneously studying for three years. 

Further to this, they ask for what you do or did as an extra-curricular activity. Luckily I have a bit of a sporting background consisting of basketball, football and athletics during school, Karate and then boxing during university. I did dancing shows, singing and acting. So my CV wasn’t purely defined by my studies. 

This leaves me thinking, what happens to those very clever individuals who loved nothing more than the subject they studied and books?  Those people that could cite Acts of Law, political philosophy, construct arguments for and against various social concepts and systems. What happens to these people? Desperation in abandonment is what happens to these people. Some may have landed jobs in companies in various positions with a view to eventually move internally to what they want to pursue as a career (such as myself), others I met had been travelling from London to Birmingham, Glasgow, Edinburgh just for interviews and still failing…based on experience. I read about others who have taken out billboards to place their CV at London Victoria station, to still not be any better off. 

[Kanye West openly and humorously discusses the pit-falls of graduate life in much of his work]

Business isn’t all about entrepreneurship, you need entrepreneurs but you also need practical individuals to do the day to day running of the business operationally. You need the analytical minds that aren’t proven to be analytical through playing rugby or setting up a festival empire on the side. The Apprentice, consisting of treats, and the exposure the candidates receive, the chauffeur service to and from the all-expense paid town house, in comparison to the graduate interview process of horrid early morning train journeys, no extra prospect of employment gained and no treats…The Apprentice is not the toughest interview process by a mile. Everyone blames the government for this lack of graduate roles, but the blame surely lies with those doing the recruiting, for their ever-increasing list of skills and experience that they are demanding from the ‘lost generation’. The universities have to also take the blame for taking on more students with money bags in their eyes, let’s face it, more students more money entering the establishment. As a result the market has become over-saturated with graduates, who were not informed of anything to do with work experience, but were drummed to just learn, analyse, argue and turn out another essay.

The Shisha Series – Miami

This is my first post on Shisha, so what is this bong-like instrument that is often met with suspicious glances by those not in the know, I’ll tell you all about it. Shisha, also known as Hookah, Nargile or a Waterpipe, is used to smoke tobacco. Coals placed at the top heat the tobacco, the smoke is then drawn through the mouth pipe which is cooled and filtered through the water at the base and into your lungs. They are an age-old tradition. 

 [some old hookah pipes]

.

This pipe smokes a type of tobacco called maassel, which is essentially tobacco mixed with molasses, it’s syrupy in texture and is flavoured as various things such as orange, mint, strawberry, etc. 

Now the real talk – people think you get high smoking shisha, not true. A first time smoker may feel light headed, but my guess is that they feel that way because they are inhaling a lung-full of smoke, one after the other…basically over-eager smoking. 

The reason I love shisha is that I can sit there and talk with whoever I’m with; it creates a relaxing atmosphere and allows the conversation to flow. Essentially it is a social habit, unlike in a bar where you’ll find it hard to speak with the noise, it allows you to meet people. I have had some of the most interesting conversations with friends and strangers alike when sitting back in a shisha lounge.

So shisha in Miami, they predominantly call it Hookah out there, and my word is it big! Nearly on every street I found a lounge. On my first night in Miami, I stumbled into a store which had shisha, cigars and cigarettes for sale, I sat down and ordered a guava flavoured shisha with my friend and we sat down to smoke. It was a very chilled out place, playing a western movie, and pretty soon we began conversing with a North African man that had been in Miami for a few years now, and some people visiting Miami from another part of the US. 

The next day we found Esno…

[esno set-up of shisha]

The waiter recommended a flavour, bubble gum. Which would mean it’s the second time that I had ever had this flavour (1^st time was in Kingston upon Thames, and I will review my London places soon!), the shisha came out in a brilliant little cage set up, I liked the presentation. That was the best as it tasted rank, and I’ll never go back to Esno again….yes I said it! the waiter set the top too tight, so the smoke didn't flow, burnt the tobacco with incorrectly placed charcoal.

So we moved down 20 yards down the street from the worst experience of shisha that I have ever had, to D’vine lounge. I had read about D’vine lounge before I even landed in Miami and it had a lot to live up to with all its positive reviews. First of all, the hostess outside greeted us and sat us down. The waiter took the order from the large selection on offer, there were flavours such as pomegranate, papaya, mint and then there was the mixtures such as mojito, mountain fresh, the passion…these were like tobacco cocktails!

[mountain fresh of D'vine, mint leaves in Red Bull)

I ordered Mountain Fresh, the waiter advised that the base was red bull with mint leaves, and the tobacco was a mixture of citrus fruits. It is the best thing I have ever had, and has now become a hands down favourite, and I know there are some blends which you simply cannot recreate at home. The blends available in D’vine are simply unique, I tried The Boss, which no one told me what was in the tobacco mixture, this was a secret as the competitors could not get hold of some of the flavours available in-house. Even the hostess couldn’t even obtain the information when I told her this in a conversation. The base was made up of mango juice and apple juice, I got this out of the alchemist who worked behind the bar and had been busy creating Hookah-Magic every time I went to D’vine.

Aside from the shisha, D’vine serves food and drinks, I never tried the food, but the level of service is the best that I have ever had. The staff regularly checked if everything was ok, rotated the charcoal frequently, and acknowledged that we had become regulars in my short stay in Miami. In fact…I’ll shamelessly advertise D’vine right now, make your way to their website!

 

[D'vine lounge, watermelon base, pineapple head]

Go visit if you can, you will not be disappointed… Miami gave me the best and the worst experience of Shisha I have ever had. But D’vine is the benchmark everyone should aspire to be…simply amazing and a well-deserved 10 out of 10.

Komedia - Brighton

So last night I had the opportunity to go to Brighton for an evening out, this was the first time I have been to Brighton for an evening out since I was probably 18. Living in relatively close proximity to Brighton this is quite an achievement, admittedly in that 5 year period I have been back once. That occasion was a job interview for a Marketing Executive graduate scheme, the summer of 2009. back then I got off the train eventually wondered through the maze-like streets of Brighton and found the offices for my interview. Passed the interview, got called back for a second round interview which I decided I was not going to attend and told the interviewer on the spot ‘why?’ was his response. I responded bluntly in telling him that they had advertised it as a marketing job, planning and executing promotional campaigns for some of the biggest brands in the UK, being mentored and trained to eventually manage your own office of marketing professionals within 18 months. This interview though, is for a door-to-door salesman? He had no comeback and that was that. Anyway back to last night…..

After the train journey from London (my usual hang out) I stepped onto the platform like a dazed child not knowing where to go. Luckily I had my friend meeting me at the station and after an initial lost puppy moment… off to Komedia we went.

 

Now comedy can be hit and miss, my experience from the start...the woman on the door, relaxed and got me smiling. Good start!

So downstairs had the feel of a basement bar, very relaxed atmosphere. Then the show began and the MC for the night, Stephen Grant…hilarious. Most of the stuff he produced on the night came through improv based on what answers he got from the audience. The first comic was absolutely hilarious, Kerry Godliman. Normally female comedians all have the same line of jokes, men suck, women rule. This comic did explore that but the hilarious depiction of her two children plotting to kill her was absolutely hilarious. There were a further two comedians who were starting up, they did get the odd laugh out of me, one of them had me laughing all the way through, not for his talent but for the pure cheesiness of his lines. We all start of somewhere though right?

 The night took on a moment where I nearly started crying from laughter, and that moment was when Rob Deering took to the stage. The self-confessed lookalike of chief Wiggum had the crowd going with his clever use of musical equipment; comedic remixes of classics such as sexual healing and just his general references to popular culture throughout. The Elvis tracks remixed into songs about turtles where brilliant too!

So would I go again? Definitely I would, I’ll just need someone to show me how to get there again, as I said, Brighton is a maze! I’ll have to visit that town every day for a month to get familiar with the streets.

The Power of a Good Advert

Now, I'm no expert of advertising/marketing. Whether it be on TV or printed, I can appreciate the effectiveness or the wonderful job of filling commercial time with a good advert.

Imagine one day you step out to put the rubbish out and you find a hobo raiding the trash...problem solved! Instead you have paper hobo to remind you to donate, and real hobo will never come forth seeking the fruits of your waste. This ingenius advert completely hit home, I would probably not donate straight away as a result of the advert, but it would keep me thinking and eventually....who knows?

For me, the best ad I have seen in a long time hit the TV screens at some point last year:

The creativity in thought, the soundtrack...a hot girl (for good measure) had me just want to watch the ad any time it came on. I never signed up for the service, but how do you measure a good advertising campaign? The increase in revenue or the increase in company profile?

So anyway, my appreciation doesn't run into the millions with regards to adverts....but the best advert of all time for me, the famous Nike advert featuring the Samba stars of the recent past, and the instantly associated soundtrack of Brazilian football.

Not everyone will agree with me, but that advert features 'Il Fenomino' Ronaldo and this my house!

So this was my first ever blog post, so it will be rusty...practice makes perfect, so let's see how the skills as a writer/blogger potentially develop.