The Body Beautiful?

So I watched a TV show today which followed a woman with body issues following women who also have body issues.

Women come in many shapes and sizes, as anyone will know. We have a range of sizes from the size-zero’s to what one would consider ‘plus-size’. 

So this woman followed a group of girls which consisted of girls that all looked like your average girl next door, not a single one was over a size 12 and they all wanted some form of surgery to fix them. Not just their body, but their faces too!

Skinny girls felt that their hips were too wide, when in fact they were well proportioned. Another girl felt her butt wasn’t big enough.

The main talk of this show was that they feel pressured by the media to be a certain size, and shape. However, it depends on which type of media you follow. From first hand I know hip-hop encourages a more curvaceous woman, whereas the fashionista’s encourage the size-zero sack of bones look. 

[My definition of body beautiful...nothing too big or too small]

Now I’ll conclude…there is not a type of body that men prefer, just work out and be healthy! Accept yourself if you cannot be thin like Kate Moss, or if you can’t drop lower than Nigella Lawson who openly eats but looks incredibly healthy!

Now on to us men….i feel we have a lot of issues!

 [Men seriously put the hours in...is this media influence as well?]

Women want a man with big arms, shoulders, thin waist…in fact they want a 6 pack. Speaking to women in person I know that my description above is not what every woman wants. I speak to some who want some bulk and fat on their man…yes I am as confused as you are! They will still wolf whistle when a 6-pack is exposed in-front of their very eyes. 

But the description I gave is how I have grown up, I have developed this ideal body image which I attribute to what women automatically want in a man. No matter what I will always aim to be that ideal, however I am confident enough in my current state (skinny fat with toned upper back…hey that’s my best description!) to be able to take my top off.

The moral of my post…aim to be better, it would be unambitious and a waste for you to be content with the way you are. Being content encourages laziness. At the same time, be confident and don’t let your targets bring you down, be realistic with your target and embrace the journey on the road to reaching it. The more realistic you are, the more accepting and confident you will be.

America - The Chartered Institute of Prejudice

Usually, I post things with a light-hearted spin. However this post will not be of such nature, I base it on history, this post is triggered by my first experience of going to the U.S. 

 [I'm pretty sure we believe in the same God...so they believe in not prejudging?]

Being a child of Britain I have grown up with many American exports influencing me from day one, I grew up watching Saved by the Bell, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, WCW and Hollywood has provided me a constant stream of movies. I have listened to R&B and Hip Hop/Rap music and I can cite some of my greatest influences for their words and achievements as being Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Will Smith and Stephen King…all Americans. The cars are iconic, as are the famous landmarks.  It was inevitable that one day I would want to go and see everything that I’d seen on TV, heard in music and read in books and magazines. 

So prior to me going to America, I have spent 23 years as a British child and I took my first breath in a town situated in the South East of England. I went to school, went to university and have worked since the age of 16 and always paid my taxes and bills. Not once have I had any criminal proceedings bought against me. 

It comes to the 13^th May 2011, having had a pleasant journey so far I land in Miami International Airport. Everyone is queuing with their passport and eventually it’s my turn. Everyone before me has scanned their hand, and then been given their passport back and told to follow the path round to the left to the baggage reclaim area. I get to the counter, the lady looks at my passport a bit longer than she did at the guy who went before me. She then doesn’t hand it back to me, but starts walking and says ‘follow me’ so I do to a counter which is along the way to the baggage reclaim and has a seating area next to it. I’m told to sit down, so now I get to watch the rest of the passengers getting off the same flight as me walk pass and through to baggage reclaim, my friend stops to ask why I’m sat there and he is told abruptly to keep going. Only 2 other people are sat by me, and I ask them their names and what I already know is confirmed…I’m being targeted for being a Muslim. 

The 2 people get escorted away, they had very blatant Muslim names, but are elderly so I’m partly furious at them being treated like this, they can hardly walk. Eventually once all the passengers have gone through to baggage reclaim I am taken by a member of security on a long walk through Miami International.

‘First time in Miami?’ she asks
‘First time in America’ I reply ‘do I go the normal way everyone else went when you’re done with whatever you need to do?’
She then gives me a look as if I’ve admitted to being a Soviet spy ‘thought you said it’s the first time you been here? So why do you know the normal way?’
I’m close to losing my rag as I know she’s trying to catch me out ‘I was sat on that chair for 40 minutes watching 200 people go down a hall, so obviously based on that, that’s the normal way to me…you agree?’ To which she shut up. 

Eventually we get to a part of the Airport which has a few more security staff, and there’s a group of them walking in front of me and to the left I see a room with a large glass window. I hear one of the security staff having a banter with his security friends ‘we’re sending the terrorists home’ and he points to that glass room whilst smiling like the dope he is, so I assume it’s the people being deported on arrival. Guess what I see when I look in that room? Families. Children. People who if you used common sense rather than a tick sheet, you’d know they couldn’t have come to the U.S. for any form of that agenda. I also notice beards and head scarves in that room. Obviously if these people had different names they wouldn’t have been sat in that very room right now. 

So I get led passed this room, and into another room which is full of people. Some of them aren’t Muslim as I start chatting to a few only to be told no talking in the ‘special room’ for suspects. Not talking doesn’t stop me from seeing symbols of Islam on some of the people in this room, the hats, the beards, and various other cultural signifiers of the religion. 

Now when I get to the counter for questioning, the guy tries catching me out numerous times. I had been to Pakistan to attend my sister’s wedding in 2007 for 2 weeks. The guy asked several questions, and then re-phrased the questions to see if I gave him the incorrect answer. Now I was as cool as a cucumber, I even had a plan that if I get told I’m not allowed in the country I’ll fly back to the UK and onto Dubai...where humans are treated as humans regardless of religion. I get told welcome to America, and then released from the room. 

 [Miami...it's a beautiful place full of beautiful people once you leave the people of the airport]

Now I arrive into the baggage reclaim area and see my friend who is not a Muslim, and therefore automatically exempt from the U.S. border controls questioning is waiting with our bags. We have one final passage to go through, the lady takes my customs card. One look at it and instead of go to the second queue on the left, it’s go to the first one. What’s the difference? Queue 2 puts your bag through a scanner, queue number 1 means more questioning and someone physically raiding a bag which has already gone through security scanning in London. She then sees my friend standing directly behind me and when she finds out he’s travelling with me, sends him into the same queue as me.  No more detail required…so eventually, a little over 2 hours later I step foot into Miami.

I enjoyed my time in Miami, and when I got back I spoke very fondly of the place. Speaking to other Muslims when I got back, they all have gone through the same thing only when visiting America. Now as I described before, I am British. I have Pakistani parents. I’ve been raised a Muslim, I am very proud of my cultural variance and my religion. My friends know me, and people on the street probably wouldn’t know I’m a Muslim just by looking at me. I dress and style myself as if I am British. I wouldn’t ever harm anyone because that is not in my nature and my religion teaches forgiveness, patience and peace. What was it that made me someone to suspect and question? My name.

So why have I based my one experience and made the statement that everyone knows but few would admit so openly?

Look through history. You see the USA has a habit of institutionally targeting a group of people different to themselves. The lyrics to the song may change, but it’s the same harmony (or lack of) playing away.

The Native Americans occupied the land for centuries. Through exploration a new nation was formed and this resulted in the Natives being forced onto reservations through mass killings. They were banned from practicing their culture in forms such as ‘the ghost dance’ and were given a part of America as Indian Territory. This government that preached equality and freedom for everyone slowly took this Indian Territory too, and demonstrated the beginnings of an ingrained need to belittle and persecute at least one group of people to strengthen its own premature identity. If you think I’m talking rubbish, go read a little about Psychological studies into group identity and try to understand how the above statement slots into an academic discipline.

Next we move onto Black history. I am going to assume here that everyone knows of the slave trade, the animalistic treatment and how prejudice against the Black people of America still exists. Even after the slave trade was abolished in the late 1800’s there was still a long way to go for Black people in America. I saw a documentary a long time ago about Jesse Owens going to the Berlin Olympics in 1936 and having to break racial stereotypes in both Nazi Germany and in the nation he was representing and winning 4 gold medals for. Yes! He was winning gold medals for America, and still being treated as a second class citizen by that very nation.

1965, Malcolm X assassinated, his crime…no longer preaching Black supremacy but now working to heighten the political consciousness of Black people. He also spoke negatively of prejudice and racism. 

1968, Martin Luther King assassinated, his crime…effectively campaigning for equal rights.  

The Civil Rights act of 1964, declared discrimination against women and Blacks to be outlawed yet we still can find news reports in the modern age, even today in 2011 which demonstrates this.

So we come to 2011, the latest group in the ever growing list of open prejudice by the government and media of the U.S.A. is Muslims. 

 [IRA - Belfast]

From 1970 to 2001 there have been attacks on the UK from a terrorist group called the IRA. I’m pretty sure that every Patrick and O’Sullivan wasn’t pulled over at the height of the IRA terrorist activity. They weren’t subject to 2 hours of questioning when going on a holiday. I’m pretty sure if a centre for Catholic studies was planned to be erected next to a former target site of the IRA there wouldn’t be a mass burning of the Bible.

Why is this? It’s easier to create the ‘us against them’ mentality when a large minority is obviously different to the group you’re trying to unite. 

No need for me to summarise and conclude this, it was not an article, but rather a rant!

The Apprentice – Toughest Interview Process?

Interviews in the corporate world can be tough; by the turn of 2010 I had been to my fair share of these after graduating. The applications that I made range into the hundreds, the interview processes probably range up to 8.

For those unfamiliar with the recruitment process as a graduate, let me enlighten you. The recruiters stipulate that they want a graduate with a certain qualification level, normally a 2.1 grade as a minimum. You apply; if successful you carry out a numerical test and a verbal reasoning test online. A telephone interview can be conducted at this point too. Then you go to a group interview. This is normally a room of 30 people who have achieved the minimum grade, passed the online tests, passed the telephone interview and now you’re all going to compete to demonstrate who the loudest person is for the next 4-6 hours. Yes I said it, the loudest person. When I went to the processes as someone who was spot on and brilliant in my theory and conversation, I didn’t get far. When I observed the people who were successful at this stage, I quickly learned and adapted to be obnoxious. Guess what? They loved it!

On passing this stage, you are invited to a one-on-one interview with ‘the big cheese’ and now you have to tell them why you are great for the role. I got to this stage on 3 occasions. I didn’t get any of those roles but the fob-off excuse I got in my feedback telephone calls each time without fail was ‘You’re fantastic, but the market has changed with the recession mate. A, B and C have sales/marketing/financial experience which you don’t’ and this leaves you thinking surely you need to sack someone in your recruitment department as I have gone through all these stages for you to only pick that up now!

 [the quest to find a role post-university]

I didn’t get a treat for passing each round and getting a step closer to the prize, the job.

I didn’t get Myleene Klass playing the piano for me at a champagne brunch, or a day at a health spa, or a dancing lesson from the stars of some dancing show on the BBC as a result of getting a step closer each time.

[Lord Alan Sugar - The Apprentice]

I have the greatest respect for Lord Alan Sugar, and I place him as my favourite and most respected businessman in the UK. His show, The Apprentice, is dubbed as the toughest interview process in the land. No! These guys are being chauffeured everywhere they need to go, are being put up in a town house for their troubles, I’m sure they’re being paid by the beeb for their troubles of being at this interview. Then as they pass each week (rounds, it’s all the same) they have a treat such as those mentioned before. Some may argue that the treat is an added incentive of winning and making it to the following week, if the job itself (or the six figure salary/investment) isn’t incentive enough then these people shouldn’t have made it to the show in the first place. Another argument, the treats make good TV. They only broadcast like a two minute montage of the bloody treat! Two minutes of an hour is not going to be missed. The apprentice candidates will have also gained exposure as they have demonstrated their skills on TV, even if they didn’t get the job with Lord Sugar they will have an easier time finding a role elsewhere. Mass exposure, higher chance of interview, you do the math. Graduates, when unsuccessful are left on the heap.  

The reasoning behind the heap is that since the recession hit, I have found many jobs to be asking for experienced fresh graduates. Most people I came across at recruitment fairs only had retail experience, yet these recruiters are asking for the very few graduates who somehow have become venture capitalist entrepreneurs whilst simultaneously studying for three years. 

Further to this, they ask for what you do or did as an extra-curricular activity. Luckily I have a bit of a sporting background consisting of basketball, football and athletics during school, Karate and then boxing during university. I did dancing shows, singing and acting. So my CV wasn’t purely defined by my studies. 

This leaves me thinking, what happens to those very clever individuals who loved nothing more than the subject they studied and books?  Those people that could cite Acts of Law, political philosophy, construct arguments for and against various social concepts and systems. What happens to these people? Desperation in abandonment is what happens to these people. Some may have landed jobs in companies in various positions with a view to eventually move internally to what they want to pursue as a career (such as myself), others I met had been travelling from London to Birmingham, Glasgow, Edinburgh just for interviews and still failing…based on experience. I read about others who have taken out billboards to place their CV at London Victoria station, to still not be any better off. 

[Kanye West openly and humorously discusses the pit-falls of graduate life in much of his work]

Business isn’t all about entrepreneurship, you need entrepreneurs but you also need practical individuals to do the day to day running of the business operationally. You need the analytical minds that aren’t proven to be analytical through playing rugby or setting up a festival empire on the side. The Apprentice, consisting of treats, and the exposure the candidates receive, the chauffeur service to and from the all-expense paid town house, in comparison to the graduate interview process of horrid early morning train journeys, no extra prospect of employment gained and no treats…The Apprentice is not the toughest interview process by a mile. Everyone blames the government for this lack of graduate roles, but the blame surely lies with those doing the recruiting, for their ever-increasing list of skills and experience that they are demanding from the ‘lost generation’. The universities have to also take the blame for taking on more students with money bags in their eyes, let’s face it, more students more money entering the establishment. As a result the market has become over-saturated with graduates, who were not informed of anything to do with work experience, but were drummed to just learn, analyse, argue and turn out another essay.

The Shisha Series – Miami

This is my first post on Shisha, so what is this bong-like instrument that is often met with suspicious glances by those not in the know, I’ll tell you all about it. Shisha, also known as Hookah, Nargile or a Waterpipe, is used to smoke tobacco. Coals placed at the top heat the tobacco, the smoke is then drawn through the mouth pipe which is cooled and filtered through the water at the base and into your lungs. They are an age-old tradition. 

 [some old hookah pipes]

.

This pipe smokes a type of tobacco called maassel, which is essentially tobacco mixed with molasses, it’s syrupy in texture and is flavoured as various things such as orange, mint, strawberry, etc. 

Now the real talk – people think you get high smoking shisha, not true. A first time smoker may feel light headed, but my guess is that they feel that way because they are inhaling a lung-full of smoke, one after the other…basically over-eager smoking. 

The reason I love shisha is that I can sit there and talk with whoever I’m with; it creates a relaxing atmosphere and allows the conversation to flow. Essentially it is a social habit, unlike in a bar where you’ll find it hard to speak with the noise, it allows you to meet people. I have had some of the most interesting conversations with friends and strangers alike when sitting back in a shisha lounge.

So shisha in Miami, they predominantly call it Hookah out there, and my word is it big! Nearly on every street I found a lounge. On my first night in Miami, I stumbled into a store which had shisha, cigars and cigarettes for sale, I sat down and ordered a guava flavoured shisha with my friend and we sat down to smoke. It was a very chilled out place, playing a western movie, and pretty soon we began conversing with a North African man that had been in Miami for a few years now, and some people visiting Miami from another part of the US. 

The next day we found Esno…

[esno set-up of shisha]

The waiter recommended a flavour, bubble gum. Which would mean it’s the second time that I had ever had this flavour (1^st time was in Kingston upon Thames, and I will review my London places soon!), the shisha came out in a brilliant little cage set up, I liked the presentation. That was the best as it tasted rank, and I’ll never go back to Esno again….yes I said it! the waiter set the top too tight, so the smoke didn't flow, burnt the tobacco with incorrectly placed charcoal.

So we moved down 20 yards down the street from the worst experience of shisha that I have ever had, to D’vine lounge. I had read about D’vine lounge before I even landed in Miami and it had a lot to live up to with all its positive reviews. First of all, the hostess outside greeted us and sat us down. The waiter took the order from the large selection on offer, there were flavours such as pomegranate, papaya, mint and then there was the mixtures such as mojito, mountain fresh, the passion…these were like tobacco cocktails!

[mountain fresh of D'vine, mint leaves in Red Bull)

I ordered Mountain Fresh, the waiter advised that the base was red bull with mint leaves, and the tobacco was a mixture of citrus fruits. It is the best thing I have ever had, and has now become a hands down favourite, and I know there are some blends which you simply cannot recreate at home. The blends available in D’vine are simply unique, I tried The Boss, which no one told me what was in the tobacco mixture, this was a secret as the competitors could not get hold of some of the flavours available in-house. Even the hostess couldn’t even obtain the information when I told her this in a conversation. The base was made up of mango juice and apple juice, I got this out of the alchemist who worked behind the bar and had been busy creating Hookah-Magic every time I went to D’vine.

Aside from the shisha, D’vine serves food and drinks, I never tried the food, but the level of service is the best that I have ever had. The staff regularly checked if everything was ok, rotated the charcoal frequently, and acknowledged that we had become regulars in my short stay in Miami. In fact…I’ll shamelessly advertise D’vine right now, make your way to their website!

 

[D'vine lounge, watermelon base, pineapple head]

Go visit if you can, you will not be disappointed… Miami gave me the best and the worst experience of Shisha I have ever had. But D’vine is the benchmark everyone should aspire to be…simply amazing and a well-deserved 10 out of 10.

Komedia - Brighton

So last night I had the opportunity to go to Brighton for an evening out, this was the first time I have been to Brighton for an evening out since I was probably 18. Living in relatively close proximity to Brighton this is quite an achievement, admittedly in that 5 year period I have been back once. That occasion was a job interview for a Marketing Executive graduate scheme, the summer of 2009. back then I got off the train eventually wondered through the maze-like streets of Brighton and found the offices for my interview. Passed the interview, got called back for a second round interview which I decided I was not going to attend and told the interviewer on the spot ‘why?’ was his response. I responded bluntly in telling him that they had advertised it as a marketing job, planning and executing promotional campaigns for some of the biggest brands in the UK, being mentored and trained to eventually manage your own office of marketing professionals within 18 months. This interview though, is for a door-to-door salesman? He had no comeback and that was that. Anyway back to last night…..

After the train journey from London (my usual hang out) I stepped onto the platform like a dazed child not knowing where to go. Luckily I had my friend meeting me at the station and after an initial lost puppy moment… off to Komedia we went.

 

Now comedy can be hit and miss, my experience from the start...the woman on the door, relaxed and got me smiling. Good start!

So downstairs had the feel of a basement bar, very relaxed atmosphere. Then the show began and the MC for the night, Stephen Grant…hilarious. Most of the stuff he produced on the night came through improv based on what answers he got from the audience. The first comic was absolutely hilarious, Kerry Godliman. Normally female comedians all have the same line of jokes, men suck, women rule. This comic did explore that but the hilarious depiction of her two children plotting to kill her was absolutely hilarious. There were a further two comedians who were starting up, they did get the odd laugh out of me, one of them had me laughing all the way through, not for his talent but for the pure cheesiness of his lines. We all start of somewhere though right?

 The night took on a moment where I nearly started crying from laughter, and that moment was when Rob Deering took to the stage. The self-confessed lookalike of chief Wiggum had the crowd going with his clever use of musical equipment; comedic remixes of classics such as sexual healing and just his general references to popular culture throughout. The Elvis tracks remixed into songs about turtles where brilliant too!

So would I go again? Definitely I would, I’ll just need someone to show me how to get there again, as I said, Brighton is a maze! I’ll have to visit that town every day for a month to get familiar with the streets.

The Power of a Good Advert

Now, I'm no expert of advertising/marketing. Whether it be on TV or printed, I can appreciate the effectiveness or the wonderful job of filling commercial time with a good advert.

Imagine one day you step out to put the rubbish out and you find a hobo raiding the trash...problem solved! Instead you have paper hobo to remind you to donate, and real hobo will never come forth seeking the fruits of your waste. This ingenius advert completely hit home, I would probably not donate straight away as a result of the advert, but it would keep me thinking and eventually....who knows?

For me, the best ad I have seen in a long time hit the TV screens at some point last year:

The creativity in thought, the soundtrack...a hot girl (for good measure) had me just want to watch the ad any time it came on. I never signed up for the service, but how do you measure a good advertising campaign? The increase in revenue or the increase in company profile?

So anyway, my appreciation doesn't run into the millions with regards to adverts....but the best advert of all time for me, the famous Nike advert featuring the Samba stars of the recent past, and the instantly associated soundtrack of Brazilian football.

Not everyone will agree with me, but that advert features 'Il Fenomino' Ronaldo and this my house!

So this was my first ever blog post, so it will be rusty...practice makes perfect, so let's see how the skills as a writer/blogger potentially develop.